In a world where the journey of parenthood is increasingly complex, the stories of Ms. Olivia Pua and Ms. Emmeline Low serve as a stark reminder of the challenges faced by many parents in Singapore. Their experiences highlight the importance of shared responsibility and workplace support, which are crucial factors in shaping the future of parenthood and family life.
Unequal Partnerships and Their Impact
The narratives of Ms. Pua and Ms. Low reflect a broader trend in Singapore, where unequal responsibility at home can strain marriages and influence decisions about having children. This issue is particularly pertinent in a society with a declining fertility rate, currently at a record low of 0.87 in 2025. Young people are delaying marriage and parenthood, with a 7% decrease in marriages and a 3.7% increase in divorces and annulments.
What many people don't realize is that these trends are not just about personal choices; they are deeply intertwined with societal expectations and the pressures of modern life. As an expert in this field, I believe it's crucial to examine the underlying factors contributing to these shifts.
The Cost of Parenthood
Beyond financial costs, parenthood today entails time constraints, career trade-offs, and the pressure to provide the best for one's children. In a highly competitive environment with a high cost of living, these challenges can be overwhelming. As Dr. Mathew Mathews from the National University of Singapore's Institute of Policy Studies (IPS) points out, "When you live in a highly competitive environment with high cost of living, fewer (feel) ready to become parents."
The opportunity cost of raising a child in a country with high labor force participation is significant. For working mothers, the decision to take time off work to care for their children can have long-term implications on their careers. As Dr. Kalpana Vignehsa, also from IPS, explains, "For a mother who takes one year off when her child is born, does she lose out on promotion? Does her career stagnate? These factor into people's choices about parenting."
The Role of Support Systems
Support systems are crucial in helping parents navigate these challenges. From involved spouses and grandparents to domestic helpers and childcare providers, having a strong support network can make a world of difference. As Ms. Erma Othman, a mother of four, puts it, "It's nice that my husband and I delegate household chores. We'll fold our laundry at night while watching Netflix to lessen chores over the weekend, so we get to spend more time with the kids."
Counsellor Lim Shan Shan describes this support as "invisible scaffolding" that allows families to function effectively. When parents have the assurance that their children are in safe hands, they can return home emotionally available, providing stability and a sense of calm to their children.
Workplace Flexibility and Its Impact
Workplace flexibility is another key factor in shaping the parenthood journey. Dr. Vignehsa notes that parents are more likely to consider having children when they have greater control over their time, such as reduced working hours or flexible schedules. This is particularly important for mothers, who often bear a disproportionate share of childcare and domestic duties.
Ms. Pua's experience as a single mother highlights the gaps in support from employers. When her son was hospitalized, she had to take unpaid leave due to inflexible work arrangements, exacerbating her financial strain. This experience underscores the need for employers to be more empathetic and supportive of parents, especially single parents, who face unique challenges.
Shaping the Future of Parenthood
Experts agree that improving fertility rates requires more than just financial incentives. It demands systemic changes that address the penalties associated with parenthood, such as workplace stress and uncertainty. As Dr. Mathews suggests, "We need more systemic changes." These changes should include flexible work arrangements, accessible childcare, housing security, and stronger support for families, including those navigating divorce and single parenting.
Dr. Vignehsa adds that increasing government support can help shift workplace norms and encourage more balanced roles for both fathers and mothers. This shift is essential for creating a more supportive environment for parents and, ultimately, for improving fertility rates.
In conclusion, the journey of parenthood is a complex and multifaceted one, shaped by societal expectations, workplace pressures, and the support systems available to parents. As we reflect on the stories of Ms. Pua and Ms. Low, it becomes clear that shared responsibility and workplace support are key factors in shaping a brighter future for parenthood and family life in Singapore.
